A quick message on lolita and unrealistic beauty standards

first image from: pastelalamode.tumblr.comWhat does the perfect lolita look like to you? Does she look confident, comfortable and happy? Or does she look like she starved to fit into that dress? Long lashes? Perfectly kept wig? Asian? Maybe white? Big doll eyes? Dainty? Pink cheeks? Button nose? Flawless skin? Cissgender female? Petite? Perfect curls? Head-to-toe in brand?

I know, I know. This issue has been brought up before but I just can't help but feel that it is so important to me that I need to write a little bit about it on my blog. We all struggle with beauty standards outside of lolita because we simply cannot escape it, then we step into the world of lolita where we have more thrown at us. It's hard to let something like your appearance not be so important when you're involved in a fashion that is all about 'the look'.
I'll avoid blah, blah blahing about all the unrealistic beauty standards we face, that I mentioned in the first paragraph and jump right into my main point!

"As different as we all are, there's one thing most young women have in common: We're all brought up to feel like there's something wrong with us. We're too fat. We're dumb. We're too smart. We're not ladylike enough - 'stop cursing, chewing with your mouth open, speaking your mind' We're too slutty. We're not slutty enough.
Fuck that.
You're not too fat. You're not too loud. You're not too smart. You're not unladylike. There's nothing wrong with you."
- Jessica Valenti (Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide To Why Feminism Matters)
This may be a piece about feminism, but I think it can definitely be applied to this situation. No one has any right to tell you that you aren't good enough. There is nothing wrong with you. You've heard it over and over; be yourself. Instead of just hearing it, live it. Wear your cake and eat it too!


  1. I have never liked brand clothing, also before I became a Lolita. Of course there is alot of nice pieces and I do dream about buying some of them too, but I (and many others) doesn't have that money, and goes for the replicas instead. But I feel a kind of shame by not owning a brand pieces. It's like you have to own a brand piece to be a real lolita!

  2. Don't feel ashamed at all! "Lolita is about the look, not the brand" is so true. You definitely do not need brand to acheive the lolita look.
    And coming from someo ne who owns one brand dress, I'm much more comfortable and confident in Bodyline than AP!