I can't speak for every Lolita, but I can speak for myself and others who feel the same way as me! With Lolita becoming more and more popular, there is more and more confusion for beginners or people who don't understand the fashion. To a Lolita, the fashion makes complete sense! BUT to that random staring at you down the street or someone seeing pictures online, we look very strange. Of course, you can hardly expect anyone who does not follow the fashion to understand it or know a lot about it. -Many people have no idea it even exists! Some don't know what to think.. is it a costume? is it fetish wear? what is this!? So, here is a random guide of my opinions about common myths.
Is Lolita fetish wear? NO. Well, I don't know anyone who wears it for those reasons and I certainly don't! I simply like it because it is cute and pretty. It is not meant to be sexy or worn for sexual reasons. Though, some people find modesty sexy so it can always be sexy in that way.
It's called "Lolita"... it's about paedophilia and the novel, right? Hell to the NO. It is actually uncertain if the fashion is tied to the novel. Lolita fashion is cute and innocent and this perhaps is how paedophiles view young girls, but the fashion is definitely not worn to attract old men and paedophiles! I can say for myself that in and out of Lolita I am not trying to attract an older sexual partner at all, I find it disgusting and like I said, I just wear it because I think it's pretty! No other motive. "We certainly do not do this for the attention of men. Frequently, female sexuality is portrayed in a way that is palatable and accessible to men, and anything outside of that is intimidating. Something so unabashedly female is ultimately kind of scary—in fact, I consider it to be pretty confrontational. Dressing this way takes a certain kind of ownership of one’s own sexuality that wearing expected or regular things just does not. It doesn’t take a lot of moxie to put on a pencil skirt and flats. It’s not, as some commentators have suggested, some sort of appeal to men’s expectation that women should be childlike, or an attempt to pander to pedophiles. Pedophiles like little girls. They don’t like grown women who happen to like dresses with cakes on them. I’ve never been hit on by a pedophile while in Lolita. We don’t get into it because it is some sort of misplaced pedo complex or anything, and the objective isn’t simply to emulate little girls, despite the name Lolita" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita_fashion
Lolita is cosplay/ a costume? This one comes up A LOT. There is such thing as cosplay lolita but is is very very different from lolita fashion. Some animes have characters dressed in lolita but the outfits in animes are usually very different from lolita fashion as us 3D people wear it. Dressing in cosplay lolita as a character from an anime is completely acceptable! But, wearing cosplay lolita and calling it lolita fashion is a whole other thing... Of course, no one can tell you what to and not to wear so do what you like, though if you do this, expect harsh criticism. Lolita fashion often gets confused for cosplay as many lolis attend anime/ cosplay conventions in their lolita outfits.
You wear Lolita because you are a ~*WeEaBoO*~! This may be true for some.. some people do wear it because they wish they were japanese so they wear japanese street styles, learn japanese and write 'residence: TOKYO!1!!' on their profiles when they really live in the USA for example. But, to call all lolitas weeaboos is ignorant. I shall now make a mini rant about this: I do not wear lolita because it is japanese. I would still wear it if it was from Germany, Australia, India etc. I do not care! I wear it because it is gorgeous, not because it is japanese. Anyway, Lolita is inspired by the victorian and rococo eras. Check out some rococo paintings, none of the women painted are japanese. Victorian fashion is said to have began in Britain, not japan. Though it is obvious elements of Lolita fashion are from japanese street fashions and their some-what obsession with youth and cuteness, lolita doesn't seem all that japanese to me.
Don't you have to be the 'perfect lolita' if you wear it? I disgaree with this, though many lolis insist that if you wear lolita you should go all out and be a lifestyle lolita. I disagree with this because being a lifestyle lolita does not mean that you are a better person, a better dressed loli or more worthy of the clothing. Life is about choices and your choices are yours. You don't have to drink tea, spend your time doing embroidery and playing with dolls or act like a "princess" and all those other generic lifestyler activities. Just wear the fashion beautifully and do it justice!
Brand makes you a better loli? This one annoys me so much. You can still be "ita" in a full brand outfit. Wearing brand does not make you better than the loli in bodyline. Some brand just will not look right on you - accept this! I confess, I cringe when I see long legged ladies in AP that is well above their knees when they're not doing erololi. If you find that your brand is nearly bursting at the seams and most of your bloomers are popping out of the bottom maybe you should try bigger sizes, bodyline or offbrand? Lolita looks great when it fits you perfectly in every area! Give up squeezing your torso into tight & uncomfortable brand simply because it is brand. Remember: It is about the beauty of the dress, not the price!
Piercings and tattoos are ~*so not rori*~! Like I said before, make your own choices! Though I can't tell you what to do, I can give you advice. I am a pierced and soon to be tattooed lolita - I hide my septum when I wear lolita because it just doesn't look right with it. I have a top lip piercing and I always just wear a silver bar with nothing on the end and it is not long enough to stick out, it just looks like a wee silver dot and I think it's appropriate to wear with lolita. I also have six ear piercings and one of my ear lobes is stretched - when in lolita my hair is usually down to hide them, but when I have up do's I just wear small pink studs in all (except my stretcher of course) just to keep it looking organised and away from cluttered or OTT. Though, if you have multiple/ eyecatching tattoos on your arms, wearing a long sleeved blouse might look better than exposing them. It's up to you though!
Only Japanese people can wear Lolita? This is 100% untrue! Lolita is for anyone and everyone. Any nationality, sexuality, personality, gender, religion, age, size and status. End of.
Which style is the "best"? There is no such thing as the best lolita style. Everyone has a style that is the best for them. It's about what you prefer and what you love! Choose the style you like, not what everyone else says you should like.
Thanks for reading & let me know if there's anything you'd like me to add!