Myself, lolita and the public.


Anyone who knows me well, could tell you that I am not too fond of the majority of the human race. That is for many reasons and a story for another day! Anyway, I have been interested in Lolita for about a year now and have been wearing it for only about six months and I'm just a part time wearer of the fashion. I have not yet gathered up the courage to really go out in public wearing lolita. Though, I don't think I want to wear lolita so casually, I like feeling dressed up and fancy. I like to feel comfortable when I'm out shopping etc. in some casual but cute clothing. I wore my blue bodyline op to my school ball/ prom this year, but at a formal occasion with many other girls in big dresses, I was simply just the one in the cute wee dress. A few people asked me if it was a costume (in the politest way they knew how) and told me I reminded them of Alice and Cardcaptor Sakura, everyone else complimented my outfit and thought I looked adorable and loved my dress. Over all, it was a relitively positive experience! But, what about if I go shopping in town, for a walk in the park or out for some food. Would the responses be so positive and curious then?

I have tried so many different fashions, especially in my teen years. I have worn styles such as gothic, 'emo', metal head, scene, pin up etc. and had many negative experiences. I was verbally attacked at school, on the streets and online for how I looked. Sure, it was different but it would never stand out as much as Lolita would. I have the picture in my head, a gothic girl walking down the streets of Invercargill, just out shopping for clothes or accessories. People glance, sometimes twice. They stare from their car windows and sometimes laugh. They don't approve of the look.. that black hair, black rimmed eyes, dark unusual clothing and potentially dangerous boots... but it has become more mainstream in the past couple of years and is not as shocking as it once was. Then, I imagine myself, the Lolita by herself.. walking along the streets of Invercargill, curled hair, a bow perched on her head, a pink dress stuffed with a petti, sweet shoes, long lashes carrying a carousel tote to go shopping. People on the streets stare and laugh, they point and shout at her "hahaha little bow peep freak" "ew it's not halloween". Yup, there you go. How it would be at it's bad times. I know this will be the reaction, so many people in my city are rude and unnaccepting, they would never accept a girl like that walking their streets. I do hear the heart warming stories that give me hope, the little girls asking you if you're a princess or a fairy, smiling and adoring you. Or the kind curiosity of strangers approaching to ask about your outfit with politeness and a smile. But then the horrible stories of strangers throwing food and drinks, verbally and sometimes physically abusing lolitas, taking photos without their permission and treating them like a freak show really puts me off and destroys all hope for public acceptance.

I don't expect everyone to love the way I look, but I'd love it if more people lived out "if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything". No one deserves to be mentally or physically hurt/ abused for the way they dress. Dressing the way you want to is a personal choice and a human right that no one has the right to take from you, it doesn't even have anything to do with them in the first place. I hope I can find my courage soon enough to go out in public in Lolita and when I do, I will feel proud and pretty. *Have you worn lolita in public? How did it go? Please comment if you can, I'd love to hear what you have to say.

3 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you! What a nice post! It's the same here, if you are not looking like mainstream everyone is staring at you. I really love the gyaru style. I got many colthes and accessory from Japan and I wear them here in Germany, but people are staring like I'm an alien. Not only about my fashion, also my nails, my wallet which is totally decorated with purikura and some little charms on it. I don't know why people can be this tolerant?! Pretty sad isn't it? If you have a look at Tokyo, there are so many people with diffrent styles like gyaru, lolita, punk and many more. But they are accepting each other. Of course as a foreigner Japanese people will look at you, but in a friendly way. ^^
    I really like you blog, and I hope to read more in future. Btw. good luck in coloring your hair.
    I really would like to have mine with light pink highligts. It looks so awesome.
    xoxo
    Momo

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  2. It is so sad, but I doubt the intolerancey will change any time soon :(
    Heh I have the same decorations on things like my cellphone, but I find people are quite fascinated with it!
    Tokyo sounds great, I sure hope to go there one day!
    Thank you :)
    Maybe you should do it! I'm sure it'd look good

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  3. I also think it will not changing. :( Really, they are fascinated about your decorations? You are lucky! I also have to say that I have got a little daughter since 3 month, and I think people staring because I'm having a little baby and I'm not looking like mainstream. At the beginning of the new year I will go to the hairdresser again, maybe I will try! ^^ Thank you!
    xoxo
    Momo

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